An ode to the men in our life

Why we are emotional beings who are apt to change at the drop of a hat.......

This blog may or may not have been inspired by a mini adult tantrum this morning..... By me. Not to mention the hundreds of conversations I have with women every month.
You see, most of us know, including men, that women get their period, it lasts for roughly 5 days, we ovulate half way though our cycle, we get emotional (read irrational) just before our period, then it all starts again. Now rightly so, us chicks can be a bit tricky to read sometimes, so I’ve done you all a favour, and written this to give some insight into why this happens. Or, simply, why we are psycho, emotional, loving, tired, horny or not horny messes..... And why you secretly love all of us (our multiple personalities I mean.)
I think this may also explain to all of the women, why they feel like they are conquering the world one day and can’t decide what to have for dinner the next.

Days 1-7 roughly. This is period time. We are bleeding. We are tired, we might be in pain, and we need extra love, attention and cuddles. We also need chocolate. Even if we make you swear not to buy it for us, don’t listen to Day 10 me, listen to day 1 me, or look out. We will make you regret it. We might be more clingy, Loving and a bit prone to nesting. We also feel calmer thanks to the shift in estrogen. Goodbye crazy day 27 lady, hello happier, calmer but a little tired me.

Days 7 - day 12 This is go time. We are happy. We achieve tasks, plan new ones, tick off the to do list, reply to overdue messages, get creative, come up with awesome new business ideas that will make us rich, we exercise, eat well and usually get our libido back. I love Day 10 me. She’s so nice. No one gets yelled at and I’m pretty chuffed with life in general. This is the time to have difficult conversations and make decisions because we are rational, level headed and less likely to feel overwhelmed.

Day 13-14. Ovulation. Get busy. Simple. It’s almost a guarantee. But beware, tomorrow we won’t like you anymore. Until day 1 again. We might be sore, achy, have sore boobs or weirdly raise the subject of having another baby. This is a conversation for day 10. Repeat, this is not a conversation for day 14.

Days 14-21: relatively uneventful. Slightly grumpy or short, maybe a bit sore and inflamed, maybe genuinely have a headache. Don’t bring up stressful topics. Just let us potter and mutter. Love us.

Days 21-26- the general discord between estrogen and progesterone that is more often enough too low, make us prone to anxiety, aggression, weird irrational outbursts, yelling and general irritability. No one is immune. Every driver is slow and annoying, the dog pisses you off with their needing to be fed , kids rooms all of a sudden look like a bomb exploded, you reconsider every relationship in your life, there’s potential for victim mentality, we might be starting to bleed, our boobs hurt, don’t suggest a hike or sex, it’s almost definitely a no. Don’t worry, we know we are being bitches, we just literally have zero control. Do not mess with day 26 us. Even choosing what to eat feels like a life changing decision. Who the fuck is even day 10 me? Was that a dream. Life is shit and hard and everything is annoying.

Day 27-28. Stay clear. I will yell at you for looking at me. Don’t cough, sneeze, blow your nose, breathe or get in my space. We long for the relief of day 1. Sleep is restless. We love you deep deep down but secretly everything is your fault. Everything.

Day 1. Sweet relief. For most. Even with mild pain, emotionally we tend to feel better. If we are one of the unlucky ones that has endometriosis or adenomyosis, this time is hell. We can’t stand up without losing blood clots, worrying about flooding our clothes, too tired to think about adulting. Just listen, sympathise and let us get through it.

That about wraps it up. Guys, does that help?? Really we are easy beings. Just love us unconditionally.
Ps we really wish we could be predictable and the same, but where would the fun be in that 🤪